Dating perils

Ok so I've decided to attempt to scribble something vaguely amusing about dating. Mainly, this is, because I'm fucking useless at it.

So first there's the asking them out, that bit I'm not so bad at. It's when the serious shit kicks in that I begin to struggle. I.e. where to go. Like I know!! Maybe I should be all erudite and keep mental notes of great places to take a potential ladyfriend, or have limitless imagination for inventing great days together.

Problem is, I'm not and I don't. My ideas basically range from "dinner?" to "quickie by the bins?".

I got told on one date that this girl thought it was important that, at least on the first date, the guy should take control and have a plan for where to take the girl. Now I see the benefit in that - it displays confidence and knowledge of the area, whilst also providing her a window into your social life and tastes.

But what about if you aren't acting like your true self? Hardly anyone is on a first date. You want to impress. You want to be better than you are really. Present yourself as the paragon of single men, the one who will blow them away. Or at least the one they'll blow.

So you go somewhere you don't generally go. To look all cultured and shit. And then she thinks "oh well he's kinda nice, but I'm not into all this art gallery shit" and dumps your ass. Turns out if you'd bought her a kebab and chucked on an episode of Scrubs you'd have jizzed on her tits by the end credits.

But you're not yourself. She's not herself. It's a fucking dance of deceit. A tango of trickery. A foxtrot of fraudulence. And I for one am sick of it.

WHY CAN'T YOU BE YOU ON A DATE?

Girls don't want you. They want what you could become. And I'm pretty fucking perfect as-is, so they don't seem overly interested. It's understandable.

Meh I'll think more about this later.